If Only*~
by SlytherinAngel
Summary: R/Hrm, with a side of R/Prvti. It IS AN R/Hrm! Don't worry. It's a songfic--yet again--to my very own made up song ~*If Only*~. Please review! It's really sappy and fluffy, and I probably--most likely--won't have a follow-up story. R/R!


A/N: Something I came up with when my Muse hit me with a hammer (on the head) at my grandma's dinner party. It's crap, I know. I didn't mean to this to become a song fic.Forgive me! Please Review!  
  
Disclaimer: As always, I own NOTHING. Exept the plot and the song.  
  
~*If Only*~  
  
There's something about him that makes me smile. Makes me laugh. Makes me cry. There's just something about him...Yes, I know, he'll never love me. But a girl can dream, right? It's one of the only things she's intitled to.  
  
*If only you understood.*  
  
It's the last year of school. Oh, I know. I haven't told him how I feel. It's not like he'd care, or anything. We're just to different. Or are we?  
  
*If only you knew.*  
  
As I sit here in the common room, the fire dying, the stars shining, I wonder why I've never told him. As two single solitary tears fall down my cheeks, I know that those tears will be together forever, but he and I will not.  
  
*If only...If only.*  
  
I set my books down on the table and walk out to a balcony from the tower. The moon shines down at me, she seems to brag that I have no one, but she has the whole world. Sometimes, beauty is cruel.  
  
*If only you knew how you're playing with my heart.*  
  
"Hermione?" I hear his voice ask. When did he come down? I see his beautiful red hair and those wonder freckles he hates so much. I hope he doesn't notice the puddle my heart has just made on the floor.  
  
*Sometimes 'if only' just isn't enough.*  
  
"Yes?" I reply. ~Don't do this to me don't do this to me don't do this to me!~ I think.   
"Are you crying?" He asks. I wipe my tears away.  
  
*These tears I cry are just for you,  
Oh, baby, if you only knew.*  
  
"No, not anymore." ~What?!~ I've gone insane. I turn around to the balcony rail. The moon smirks at me. ~He won't love you~ she says. ~I know~ I admit as another tear makes its way along my cheek. My tear is like me, alone, follows its chosen path until it finishes. Oh, my tears.  
  
*You're touching my heart with all you got  
You don't love me, I know you're not.  
Waiting for you my heart does cry  
When you look past me, I'm dyin' inside.*  
  
Your brow furrows. "You sure? I came down to get my book, and I thought I'd check on you." ~Check on me. Like a brother.~ This is getting too much for me. Why can't you just love me back?  
  
*My friends call me a fool,  
Because I fell for you.  
But baby, I know love at first sight,  
And the first time I saw you, I knew.*  
  
Three years later, I got an invitation.  
  
~To Ms. Hermione Granger--  
  
You have been formally invited to the wedding of Mr. Ronald Weasley and Ms. Parvati Patil on September the twenty-second in the year two thousand and six. It will take place at five o'clock in the afternoon. A reception will follow at the club house.  
  
Please R.S.V.P. by owl.~  
  
*Darlin', don't get me wrong, I do care,  
But when you hurt me so bad  
All I could do was cry,  
And my heart was heavy.*  
  
Tears came to my eyes. It was bad enough he hadn't talked to me in two years, but to send me an invitation to his wedding?! Still worse, he didn't know I loved him.  
  
*You're touching my heart with all you got  
You don't love me, I know you're not.  
Waiting for you my heart does cry  
When you look past me, I'm dyin' inside.*  
  
When I see you at the alter, your hair slick and slightly spicked from you running your fingers through it, your tux smooth, it makes me want to cry again. I'm your best friend. Well, used to be your best friend, and I'm not in your own wedding! The music starts to play, and Parvati comes down the aisle.   
  
Her beautiful gown makes you gasp in awe.   
  
You say your vowes, and are made husband and wife.   
  
*My heart aches so bad, I can't help but think  
What if I was there with you?  
The thought makes me weak.  
'What if's never work.*  
  
I don't go to the reception. You look so happy, and I am so sad, I don't want to depress your wedding day. ~Why can't I stop crying?~ I think to myself. ~Get over him! You just need to move on!~   
  
"I will!" I exclaim to myself. Deep down, though, I know my heart belongs to you.  
  
*I want to feel your arms around me,  
I want to know that you love me too.  
I want to belong to someone,  
I want that someone to be you.*  
  
Only a year since I saw you last. Only a year since I heard your voice. Only a year...It seems like so long ago.  
  
I almost married, you know. I broke it off because he didn't make me happy. He couldn't make me laugh, cry...but you could.  
  
As I listen to the radio and wash the dishes, the rain hitting the windows and the clouds becoming darker, the doorbell rings. ~Who is it?~ I wonder.   
  
*If only I could see your face,  
If only you knew,  
Maybe one day you will,  
If only...If only.*  
  
I open the door and look at you in surprise.   
  
"Ron." I breath.  
  
"Hermione." You give me a hug, and I realize you are soaking wet.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry Ron! Come in." Your red hair gets in your eyes, and I get the sudden urge to brush them away. I follow my instincts. You smile a smile that makes my knees go weak. "Where's Parvati?" My throat tightened up as I spoke.  
  
You looked uncomfortable. "We, uh, got a divorce."  
  
"Oh, Ron, I'm so sorry." I know I sound sympathetic, but inside, my heart is singing.  
  
"It's all right, really. I'm glad I got away from her, or I wouldn't be able to do this." You lean down and kiss me lightly.   
  
"Ron, I--" I start, but you interupt--something I've always, no matter how annoying it is, loved.  
  
"Hermione, don't you see? I'm so stupid to not have realized it before, but Hermione...I, I think...I think I love you."  
  
"Ron, I should have told you before! I waited, so long!" I sob into your soaking robes. You stroke my hair and try to calm me.  
  
When I finally calm down, you get on one knee. ~Please, no, Ron.~ I silently plead and beg you.  
  
"Hermione, you have always been there for me, and I was a fool not to see it before. I've only just realized how much you mean to me, and how much I need you. We've known each other for eleven years, and now I want to try and make up for lost time. Will you marry me?"   
  
I mouth at you speechlessly. I can see the disapointment start to cloud your eyes.  
  
"Ron, of course!" I throw myself at your neck, and since you are still kneeling, we fall over. "I love you, Ron."  
  
"I love you too, Hermione."   
  
*Maybe someday you'll see how much I mean to you  
And how much you need me,  
But until then,  
I'll be waiting patiently   
Thinking  
'If only'.*  
  



End file.
